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"Hmph!" - Chet Steadman

I've made a whole bunch of Chet Steadman noises at work today, mostly to get myself through constant frustration.

Hi, I'm Pizza Apple Banana


All day, every day.

A Round Trip Flight Is Only $750


So does someone want to fly to Portland to get me some breakfast from Voodoo Doughnuts? Oh cool, thanks. You're the best.

Tan Lines, Here We Come


I could do better than that. This Charming Tan. Yup, nailed it.

It's a Squirrel Eating a Slice


If I could switch bodies with this squirrel in a Freaky Friday like situation, I would most definitely do so right about now.

More Pablo Prigioni Half Time Interviews, Please


God bless Pablocia. New York Knicks 102, Milwaukee Bucks whatever.

JAMS: Action Bronson - Rare Chandeliers

Gif-able album covers and drops about the rarest of chandeliers, this is dope.

Dikembe Mutumbo is Saving the World


So this is a thing. God bless you, Old Spice.

"Sit On It "- Fonzie/Ronald McDonald


We sit on hamburgers and eat chairs.

Tis The Season For Grilled Cheese Ornaments


Next to the Patrick Ewing ornament I just ordered, this Grilled Cheese one is the must have "Christmas Tree Ornament" of 2012.

"All I Want Is To Pet All Of The Dogs" Is the New "A Lannister Always Pays His Debts"


Someone has a new family credo.

Robots & Whiskey


Robots and whiskey, these are my interests. 

Goodnight Sweet Prince Fireman Ed Anzalone


License Plate Guy, last New York "super fan" left standing. What you know about that?

Sorry Basketball But Dogs!


Missed Knicks/Nets because I also had real life basketball games scheduled last night too, so good for BK I GUESS. Here's a picture of a real dog and a manikin dog in Am Appy hoodies becoming friends.


So we deep fried a turkey at Friendsgiving IV. What'd you do this weekend? Also follow your boy on Instagram!

New York Knicks 121, Detroit Pistons Whatever


Novie's back.

Birthday Boy Biden


70 years of B.I.D.E.N.

Silver & Gold & Gravedigger


Sufjan Christmas music and Monster Trucks, these are my interests. 

"Quite Frankly, This Prospect Shows Promise" - Stephen A on Young Stephen A


Quite frankly/however/Skip Bayless.

Deep Fried Cookie Dough?


So we're going to the Texas State Fair, right?

Internal Monologues


Feeling like Annie Hall and/or Alvy Singer, all day, every day.

"You Can La Cirque my La Jerk" - Guy Fieri


I know people are like "all Kate McKinnon this, Kate McKinnon that" and she's great but Bobby Moynihan FTW.

Jason "Headbandage" Kidd


Nice bounce back by the Knicks after the Grizzlies took 'em down a notch on Friday. Also nice look, J Kidd.

GIF Monday: Glaser Gettin' Glazed


You know how Jon Glaser is all like "you got jammed" on Parks? Well, he got "Glazed" - Grilled Chicken with melted Cheddar, Fried Egg, Caramelized Onion, Bacon, all set on a bed of Arugula between Brioche Bun with Aioli and Sriracha. Good lord.

Dog, Friend of Sting


Just going to assume that Sting's ringtone is this.

New York Knicks 104 San Antonio Spurs Whatever


KNICKSTAPE. Coming back in the 4th and winning on the road in San Antonio, what you know about that? Y'all should probably stop asking is this team for real.

GIF Thursday: Rarest of Chandeliers


I don't usually download rap mix tapes based on gifs of album covers but I'll make an exception in this case.

“…But instead, he just sat in his cubicle and ate a whole thing of candy beans.


For what it's worth, like Michael Bluth I cope with stress by eating candy beans.

Walt Jr, Flynn, Breakfast


I can get behind this.

WATCH THIS: Santa Paws 2, The Santa Pups


I think we have a new OAB holiday tradition. 

Do You Think Andrew Bynum Would Be Doing This If He Was Still in LA?

(via) Serious question, y'all.

Appalachian Trail Name of Local Section


JAMS: Beach House - Wild


When it's all said and done, the Beach House record might be the best of 2012.

Bible Nom Nom Nom


And I thought "All Dogs Go to Heaven."

Yeah! AFLAC!


5 and 0! Heart Sheed's antics but chill out with those threes, dude.

"I Asked Three To Stop Staring At Me" - Referee Re: Sheed


I could watch Sheed stare down officials all day.

"Christ Returns to the NBA"


Lunch time old Onion article link swapping. Oh you want another one? Okay, why not!

I Don't Remember Obama Promising This But I'll Watch


You wanted that overly enthusiastic British basketball announcer to call a simulation of the Dream Team and 2012 US Olympic team in 2K13? You got it.

RoboCop, Hero/Friend


Protect, serve, befriend.

"Spot If I Care?" - Drunk Uncle

Drunk Uncle FTW.

Star Spangled Shump


This is glorious.

* Also mini I WANT THIS post for the Veteran's Day headbands.

* Also 4-0, whoop whoop.

International Spy or Brooklyn Nets Owner?


So this is a thing.

Slick Willy Being All Slick


Heart you Barack but Bill Clinton forever the GOAT.

"We're a Twizzlers Family"


Can Jonathan Banks aka Ben's dad aka Mike Ehrmantraut just become a regular on Parks?

What's Worse? Losing an Election or Being Dunked?

(via) You could say that Election was a real slam dunk for Obama. You can definitely say that. Also I always knew he was a Jordan 11 conchord kind of guy.

GIF Friday: Swanson, Ehrmantraut, Bacon Wrapped Shrimp


No half measures.

JAMS: Desaparecidos - What's New For Fall

Kind of a men's wear jam if there ever was one.

HOT BLOG ALERT: White People Mourning Romney


This is what happens when you co-op "clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose" for your stupid campaign. Suck it GOP!

Fictional Breakfast Buds


In the same vein of the Louis CK and Aubrey Plaza post from earlier today, I'd really like to see Ron Swanson and Flynn hang out too.

Marcus Camby, Center/Laugher


Things I've missed, shots of basketball players laughing it up on the bench.

Joe Biden, Knoppe Big Deal


Ah shit, Biden on Parks? These next four years are off to a terrific start.

What About the Guy With the Sunglasses? Is He Awesome?


From that awesome people hanging out tumblr because as you know Louis CK and Aubrey Plaza are "awesome."

GIF Wednesday: Donald Trump, Irrelevant? Irresponsible? Or Both? Probably Both.


Something something, you're fired. Good job, Brian Williams and good job, America for not making Donald Trump right last night.

Dirk Nowitizi, Born in the USA


Hey, have you ever asked yourself - "what if Dirk's go to karaoke song was "Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen?" Yeah, me too.

JAMS: Sufjan Stevens - The Star-Spangled Banner


If there's any day for us to listen to a Sufjan Stevens-ized version of the Star Spangled Banner, it's today. 4 more years of Barack and Roll!

I WANT THIS: S'Morrisey Pillow


Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (which is a pillow combining both my love for s'mores and the Smiths/Morrissey).

Really Regretting Not Writing in Sheed for President This Morning


Really really really need this on a t shirt like stat.

King of All Baked Potatoes


There is a food cart with just baked potatoes called "Baked Potato King?" That needs to happen!