Video Hits One - La Sera - Never Come Around: La Sera, the side project of Kickball Katy has a video for the track, Never Come Around. She dates a bunch of dudes and then dismembers them with a big knife, kind of hot. KIND OF. (via Brooklyn Vegan)
Parks and Rec in IMAX 3D: When is Parks and Recreation coming back to Thursday Nights? No one knows but what we do know that it's coming back in IMAX 3D similar to Seinfeld. Oh, it's not going to be in 3D, darn it. (via Vulture)
That's Jet Blue Stewardesses: What's your favorite NFL player being for Halloween? (via KSK)
Pre-order the shit out - The War for Late Night: Bill Carter, author of the Letterman/Leno book turned movie The Late Shift which Artz from Lost as Jay Leno is back with a book on the Conan/Leno scandal just in time for Conan's return to Late Night. (via Splitsider)
Order the shit out of - Free Darko's The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History: The Macrophenomenal Pro Basketball Almanac: Styles, Stats, and Stars in Today's Game (via NY Mag)
Seriously, Jesus died for this: A hipster church in Williamsburg? Of course.(via Hipster Runoff)
Fuck, my Halloween costume ain't shit compared to this: So I'm pretty psyched about my Garth Algar costume for Halloween this year but this Krang costume, wowwwwwwwww. (via TDW)
Reason 67, Kevin Durant. Since the backlash of the Decision, everyone out there (including myself) have jumped on the "KD is going to be the man this year" bandwagon, and his dropping 30 on the Bulls last night was only just the start. Anyway, in the creepiest post of the reasons to get pumped for the NBA, here's Kevin Durant's neighbor in the bushes filming him eating breakfast which seems to be Lucky Charms and two bottles of Gatorade, a quality meal if I've ever seen one.
(via The Poke)
Season 4 of Mad Men may have ended more than a week ago but here's Mr. Men/Little Miss Mad Men character, Mr. Sterling to give us our Mad Men fix or a little bit (or until Friday Night Lights premires tonight, and I can obsess over Coach Taylor instead of Don Draper for a couple months).
Reason 77 to get excited from the NBA which returns with a ridiculous double header of the Heat/Celtics and Lakers/Rockets is Chris Bosh portraying meter maid out for justice, Chris Justice in Tall Justice. Okay, I know it sucks that Bosh kind of killed a franchise by leaving the Raptors and signing with the Heat but did you see that he just shot blocked a grenade, SHOT BLOCKED A GRENADE!
About Tonyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Romoooooooooo's Broken Collar Bone and Another Hakeem Nicks Multiple TD Game
Last night saw the return of the "Tony Homo" chant which led Brian to wonder why we were cheering when a man just broke his clavicle. How bout them Cowboys? Also how bout Hakeem the Dream? 2 TDS and 108 yards, best reciever in the NFL? I'd say so.
Reason 1 - Lebron. Anyone not a Cavs fan should be over "the Decision" by now, right? The Heat are the most interesting team since MJ's Bulls the year after the Magic knocked them out of the playoffs. I've been debating on whether or not to purchase NBA League Pass just to watch LBJ and D Wade play together every night, when was the last time we had two of the top 3 or 4 guys in the league together? Michael and Scottie, that's when, this season is going to be ridiculous. Also ridiculous, how easily Nike redeemed Lebron in this commericial.
(via Totally Package)
I don't normally re-blog Brian's stuff but other than Chris Keller and Tobias Beecher on Oz, George Michael and Maeby is the greatest love story ever told in 53 or so episodes.
NFL Player Safety, a National concern?: Here's the video that the National Football League has been sending the teams to show what hits are cool and what hits are not so cool... While concussions and injuries are a serious concern, how can we really expect a guys playing a pretty violent sport to be um less violent? I'm not really sure it's possible but we'll see when the first suspensions are dished out. (via NFL)
But it's totally okay to kill Matt Dodge or any other punter: I'm sensing a pattern here... Killing an unprotected receiver on crossing route? You g suspended. Destroying a poor punter on the return? How about a trip to the Pro Bowl. (via Deadspin)
A Literal Helmet to Helmet hit: The NFL fining Monday Night Football helmets for dangerous hits? I buy it. (via the Onion)
A guide to Midtown's 99 Cent Pizzerias : My 99 cent pizza of choice, the one on 43rd between Third and Lex. (via Midtown Lunch)
Elephants, they're just like us (sort of): Okay, elephants like humans have a tendency to masturbate. On the other hand, elephant dongs are shaped like the letter s and are 3 to 5 feet long so we're not really like elephants at all.(via the Awl)
Video Hits One - The National's Terrible Love (alternate version): The video for an alternate take of the opening track of the very good High Violet which is more like the version they premiered on Fallon before the record came out. I got to say Matt Berninger and the brothers Dessner and Devendorf look like fun guys, we should watch football together. (via Stereogum)
Kind of makes me nostalgic for Travis, the Chimp: Sue, the Chimp didn't bite a woman's face off but she did ram a trash can into a cop car and broke a windshield. Seriously, chimps aren't a good idea for pets, people. (via Animal NY)
I don't drive but if I did this would be my ride: I would drive this 1994 Dodge Caravan turned Ninja Turtles cruiser, would you? (via Jalopnik)
Sat Share I WANT THIS - Giant S'More Cake: I would eat that entire s'more cake by myself in one sitting. Now there's a good chance I might die from diabetes but I would so eat it. (via TDW)
Reason 103 - Dwight Howard. Two reasons to look forward to Dwight Howard this season come from what the Magic's center did in the off season. First off, Howard spent time working on a low post game with Hakeem "The Dream" Olajuwon and if he learned the slightest from the Dream, Magic fans have something to be excited about. Oh and he recorded a covers record over the summer called Shoot For The Stars with "Whoomp (Hoop) There It Is" on it, which either the greatest song in history or the worst, I'm not entirely sure where I stand on it yet.
Off of 2007's Night Falls Over Kortedala. Seriously on the list of people who need to put a new record, said list begins and ends with Jens Lekman.
More reasons to look forward to the NBA, Reason 29 the comic book covers that ESPN and the NBA commissioned by Marvel - MJ as Nick Fury? Kobe as Iron Man? D Rose turning into Carlos Boozer as the Hulk? A comic of Mikhail Prokhorov's giant head? Incredible.
Continuing my get hyped for the 2010/2011 NBA season series, let's get to reason 15 -Ron Ron sporting compressive shorts, a fake beard, a safari hat, and slippers and socks was on Jimmy Kimmel, and he continues to be crazy and/or best. Lets hope that Ronny Turiaf can be the Knicks equivilant to Artest, not really in terms of craziness but in terms of the energy that people are saying he'll bring to the Garden.
A million times yes to Chris Pratt's weight gain tips slideshow at Vulture. Oh what I would do for a pan of lasagna and a box to nap in right now or for Parks & Rec to return to NBC's Thursday night line up for that matter.
Reason 3 I'm ready for the 2010/11 NBA season to begin - Gallo and Amar'e. Mostly STAT who put up 39 and 11 in the Knicks pre-season win against the cross river rivals, the New Jersey Nets.
* This could all be moot because of THIS and if that trade goes down replace Gallo with Melo, and rubbing Amar'es head with STATMELO being the best 1-2 the Knicks have had since Willis Reed and Walt Frazier, and I wasn't even alive for that.
So if you asked me the question - if I had to choose one male model to be my imaginary friend and we'd drink bloody marys together, ride his motorcycle together, and do that whole pool shoulder sit thing among various other fun activies we would be doing together, who would it be? I think we all can agree with comedian Jon Daly's Funny or Die skit that that my pick for imaginary friend who just happens to be a male model would be Fabio.
(via Got 'Em Coach)
Reason 602 I'm ready for the 2010/11 NBA season to begin - Highlights from the Clippers' Blake Griffin's 7 exhibition games, the 2009 Number 1 pick going to be something special. Not Michael Olowokandi special, more like Karl Malone special, so get ready Clippers fans and/or fans of basketball.
No lie, I voted for Jimmy McMillan in the 2007 New York Gubernatorial Election because rent is in fact too damn high (and because I couldn't convince myself to vote for Elliot Spitzer). Will I vote for McMillian in 2010? I'll get back to you in two weeks...
Was Stacy Carosi's frat bro boyfriend, Craig Strand the biggest d-bag in Saved by the Bell history? Probably. Maybe. Well it depends on where you stand on Jeff Hunter and/or Johnny Dakota. But still, Craig Strand's campaign for mayor of D-Bag city has a lot of merit.
So someone set the Dallas Cowboys laughably bad season so far to the Benny Hill theme, so we gots to ask - How bout them Cowboys? And the G-Men are marching into Texas Stadium on a 3 game winning streak next Monday night in which we hope and somewhat predict will be the final nail in the coffin of that has been the 2010 Cowboys season.
Giants fans had no need to fear that the stalwart, Madison Hedgecock was out yesterday in the G-Men's win over the Detroit Lions. The Giants 3rd string TE/2nd string fullback is named BEAR PASCOE and he preformed up to scruff. If Bear Pascoe is not the name of a real football player, I don't know what is!
Bill Murray showing up at something called the Scream Awards in his Peter Venkman jumpsuit confirms what we all already knew - he's the greatest human being on the face of the earth.
I'm just going to go under the assumption that The Onion's Joe Biden and real life's Joe Biden are on in the same, and reply back with "No, thank you Mr Vice President, it was my pleasure."
New Old Weezer: Things you should know about we (me) here at Orange Apple Banana, we don't lie - This Saturday Sharing is being done on Thursday, so it's technically Thursday Saturday Sharing cause we (me) have to work on Saturday this week. And because of that I'll actually be awake (and on a computer) to buy tickets for the Weezer Blinkerton shows in December at Roseland. So anyway, check out some new old Weezer songs that may or may not be jams (El Scorcho is a jam btw). (via 107.7 The End)
Return of the Rape: Ben's back in the Steelers/David Bowies Starting Line Up on Sunday and he's back on KSK too! I think I might even try to get an "CHACO TACO CLAP CLAP CLAP CHACO TACO" chant going at the bar and/or the Christianing that I'm attending whenever The Ben throws his first touchdown against the Browns. (via KSK)
Oh Hi Tommy Wiseau's new project: Tommy Wiseau's new short film, The House That Drips Blood on Alex is out, and well... the magic is still there but it's a glimmer of the original because it's kind of self aware of his own awfulness. (via Vulture)
GIFs, a Renaissance: Slate looks at the king of the internet, the endless loop known as the GIF file. (via Slate)
I want to punch Running Wilde's ratings in the face: Will Arnett and Peter Serafinowicz keep their heads high about Running Wilde's kind of shitty ratings, and punch each other in the face. Seriously people out of respect to the good will that Mitch Hurwitz and Arnett curated with Arrested Development, watch this show before it gets canceled (like AD did). (via SplitSider)
Titus Andronicus won the Battle of Hampton Roads: Titus Andronicus's The Monitor is one of the front runners for my favorite record of the year, and one of the reasons can be found in the video for "The Battle of Hampton Roads." (via Stereogum)
My only rap lyric - Word to your mom's, I came to drop bombs: 14 year old rapper, Astronomical Kid drops some knowledge on a topic not often found in hip hop, respecting women. (via Gothamist)
Orginally off of 1997's Lazy Line Painter Jane, Belle & Sebastian bring out Jenny Lewis for Lazy Line Painter Jane from a couple weeks back from the Belle & Sebastian/Jenny & Johnny show at the Hollywood Pallidum.
I dunno if it's because I'm kind of delirious from work or because I'm starving from not really eating today but I'd eat the hell out of this deep fried fried chicken and waffles.
"The Portland Observer reported the exchange this way: “[Dudley] was also asked by Sam Brooks, chair of OAME’s board and moderator of the forum, what Dudley had done in the past and would do as governor for minority and women-owned businesses in the state. ‘I was a minority for 16 years,’ said Dudley to laughter, referring to his time in the NBA, which is dominated by African Americans.” Brooks and OAME President Jorge Guerra did not return WW’s calls seeking comment.)"(via The Awl/Politico)
You tell 'em, Chris Dudley, former back up to the all NBA First Team oppressor Patrick Ewing and current Republican Candidate for Governor of Oregon.
(via Jersey Shore Takes Miami)
By far my favorite quote of Season 2, still no "From now on you are excluded from dinner then. You are excluded from surf and turf night. You are excluded from ravioli night. You are excluded from chicken cutlet night" but what is...
LD back on that grind. And by grind, I mean back to work on Season 8 of Curb - Ricky Gervais, Leon, Michael J Fox, and New York City, CAN'T WAIT.
While I don't think Dwight Howard could win the Heavyweight Championship of the World in Boxing or Mixed Martial Arts, I do believe he's just been crowned one half of the Tag Team champions of Athlete/Funny Guy Sneaker Commericals with Ken Jeong.
I'm so going to get pumped up with Fitness Legend, Vince Tornado's "You Got Dog, You Got a Gym" work out plan.*
* And by getting pumped up, I mean I'm just going to my gym tonight and do my usual work out because I'm not sure if my dog will be a willing participant in man's best work out.
Off 1993's Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers).
Belle & Sebastian Write About Lo... Err, You: I got the new B&S in the mail yesterday, so I'm staring at the insert for the "Write About Love" in 300 hundred words or less as I write this. Ayone have any ideas so I can have Stuart Murdoch come to Yonkers and hang out with me and my dog, and maybe we can shoot some hoops or something. (via Pitchfork)
What a shock, Brett Favre is kind of a douchebag: If you haven't seen it yet, Deadspin has the whole Brett Favre sext-gate going on this week. So check it out, if you're into the whole seeing the cocks of famous athletes sent to in house sideline reports with boobs via text message scene. (via Deadspin)
Al Pacino's Wall of Sound: Al Pacino staring in a HBO film written and directed by David Mamet about the life of record producer/wig wearer/murder, Phil Spektor? DVRed. (via Best Week Ever)
And we thought the Abed story was the Easter Egg on Community: I would have never notice the Wilde Oil barrel (of Will Arnett's Oil Company in Running Wilde fame) from the Annie/Britta oil spill cat fight if it wasn't for this SplitSider but yay for mutual admiration of the funny people in Hollywood society. (via SplitSider)
Truth be told, I always wanted to smell like a monster: I've always said that my dream job is to write for the Onion or SNL or something where I get to throw out ridiculous ideas for a living but writing for Sesame Street is now inching up on the list of the places in which Ryan wished he worked with this Grover/Old Spice parody. (via TDW)
You want Jersey Shore Screen Caps and Gifs, you got em: While I'm sure there a million Jersey Shore GIF sites, this is mostly an excuse to post my favorite Jersey Shore/Seinfeld comparison of all time by Afif -"I wonder if Angelina telling him (the Situation) that he "looks 40" is really bothering him or something, his confidence seems really low since then, like that Seinfeld episode when that guy told Elaine she had a big head." (via Jersey Shore Takes Miami)
Congrats Andrew & Kristin: Okay, Andrew hasn't blogged in forever but he did get married last night which is much cooler than him blogging so just go and read his blog, consider it a greatest hits collection or something. Congrats Paz and Kristin, you guys (and your wedding) are/was pretty rad. (via Shady Character)
I said it earlier in the week, and I'll say it again - It's Ye's and we're just living in it. I don't know when exactly Kanye's directorial debut, Runaway is out (or if is actually going to be in theaters) but West's follow up to 2008's 808s and Heartbreak, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is out November 22.
Pros: Friday Night Lights is coming back on October 27th for it's 5th and Final season on DirecTV with everyone looking all sexy. Cons: Not enough Vince Howard touchdowns.
(via This Recording)
Kenny Cosgrove's got Alex Mack as his finance, and Leland Gardner as father in law? To quote Mad Dog Russo, good job by him.
Other Mad Men thoughts - I would pre-order the shit out Sterling's Gold and good job by Draper on banging his kind of banging secretary and getting in a non dumb Betty Draper love triangle.
Matador at 21, Live from your couch: You mean you are not at the Matador 21 Festival in Vegas this weekend? You mean you live on the East Coast and didn't want to watch Pavement at 3 AM last night? Okay, well there are still sets from Girls, Belle & Sebastain, Guided By Voices, Spoon, Ted Leo, and the New Pornographers to go this weekend, just click the link. Happy 21st Matador! (via Myspace)
Agent Dale Cooper is going to help Ted Mosby find the Mother in the Black Lodge: Twin Peaks' Kyle MacLachlan's going to have a guest stint on How I Met Your Mother, so how can we make a romantic comedy sitcom on CBS into a David Lynch's network drama from 1990 for a couple weeks? (via EW)
Spinning the wheels of steel into Jersey Shore Spin Off: Just turned on MTV and guess what Jersey Shore is on! I'm going to be honest with you guys, I kind of missed the last few episodes but it's time for a mini marathon. Anyway, Pauly is apparently getting a spin off in his quest to be America's greatest DJ or something. I've already season passed it. (via Vulture)
Awful or Awfully Good? Probably awful: A Domino's in Dayton has breakfast pizza. And while it might not be this, we may be road tripping to Dayton for it. (via Gawker)
Shacktoberfest: It's that time of year again, and Serious Eats take a look at Shake Shack's Oktoberfest menu. Shacktoberfest runs though October 10th, so get your butts to Shake Shack by then. (via Serious Eats)
And I thought he was all marshmallow: Toy surgeon Jason Freeny continues his ongoing anatomical sculpture series with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. (via TDW)
Meet the Bronx Zoo's latest animal, Justin Beaver: A beaver with a Justin Beiber parodied name? Love it. (via Animal NY)
I think I spent 7 hours yesterday refeshing the comment section of Brooklyn Vegan in regards to that the possibility of rain at that Belle & Sebastian show I went to last night which saw no rain and I'm a Cuckoo so it was pretty rad. But anyway, this anoyomous commentator brings up a very valid point but BrooklynVegan (nor any other indie rock blog) has yet to alert me if my work has been canceled due to rain.
* By the way, work hasn't been canceled.