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OAB turns 1


ORANGE!


APPLE!


BANANA!

I started Orange, Apple, Banana a year ago today, so happy birthday wishes and cake are in order. Anyway, thanks to everyone for reading/editing/commentating/placating me and have a piece of cake for me and my toddler of a blog.

A tribute to Sam Elliot's Mustache

Watching 1980's Western Mini Series, Wild Times and Sam Elliot's 'stache is a thing to behold, so let's take a look at his mustache through the ages thanks to Google Image Search.


Elliot and his mustache in the aforementioned, Wild Times!


The "Why, Hello! I didn't see you there" out of the shower mustache!


An autographed mustache!


Even in a canvas painting, Sam's 'stache just pops out at you.


Wanna go for a ride? (on his bike or his mustache).


Even in old age, Sam Elliot and his mustache are still very distinguished.

Today's not so secret obsession - KISS



Think for a second how ridiculous KISS is. Seriously, think about the songs, the mytholgy, the names - Star Child/The Demon/The Spaceman/The Catman/The Fox/The Ankh Warrior, the make up, that Peter Criss and Paul Stanley have left the band on numrerous occasions, the fireworks and everything else that goes with their live show, it'll blow your mind that they exist and that some of their songs are at least half way jams if not full blown ones.

Banana Nuetella Cupcake, I want to go to there



So there's this Cup Cakery (or Bakery, if you will) near Brian's job called the Flour and Sun Bakery and all the time, we have conversations like this:

Brian: link to cupcake picture
Brian: COME ON!
Me: RIGHT!

But yeah, if you are ever in Pleasantville- go to Flour and Sun, get obsessed like I did, he did, my sister did, my sister's friends did, and so on and so forth.

The _____ __________ Reality Show coming to FX



Guess who has a new show coming to FX? Well, under that beard and the Dodgers cap, it's this man and I'm hoping that it'll be airing on Thursday Night's at 10:30 in the Fall so it'll be back to back with Sunny, and be my reason for watching Thursday night TV till 30 Rock comes back in the later half of the Fall.

Grizzly Bear's video for Two Weeks

Two Weeks


Here's the video for Grizzly Bear's Two Weeks video off of one of the bestest albums of the year so far - Veckatimest, and oh my g it's great in a creepy, what just happened sort of way. Thursday at Town Hall is going to be super great to see them, and if anyone reading to buy my 2 tickets because I agreed to sell my tickets and sit with friends thanks to Animal Collective and their flashing light show.

Profiles in BRK HOUSE - Ryan



Today's profile is for someone who needs no introduction on this blog, because it's me! The guy who was recently called a fantastic runner by Nintendo Wii Fit and almost single handily turned what was to be a fringe sports competition into the Ultimate Challenge, I'm the R in BRK HOUSE, the man in which difficult takes a day and impossible a week, is planing to detach the Warhorses mind from spirit and body from soul.

Name: Ryan

Height/Weight: 5'11 and a lean and mean 177

Place of Birth: Bronxville, New York

Nickname: The Major Deighan

What do you bring to the team? Swagger, bad ideas for celebrations, and a half eaten box of granola bars!

Athlete you are most compared to: Lebron James - Mostly because we both wear headbands, have beards, and tattoos (okay I have one, he has many but still).

If you could compete in one Olympic event (summer or winter) What would it be? Star Class Sailing, no doubt.

Weakest link on the opposing team? The whole team! A team that uses piggy back ride and hanging on monkey bars as training for the Ultimate Challenge while endearing, it's not really that threatening.

Event you're most looking forward to? Dodgeball b/c we won't even get to it.

Will Team BRK House sweep? I think so - Kenny has his little niece's birthday party to get to, and I don't want to disappoint Emily and have her Uncle Kenzo show up late because it took us 6 games to put away the Warwhores.

Profiles in BRK HOUSE 2: Brian



When the largest member of your team outweighs (or close to it) the combined weight of the other 2/3rds of your team, you have a problem. Luckily, TEAM BRK HOUSE doesn't have that problem - The B in BRK, Brian is our size and strength has the agility of a gazelle, the stength of a bull, and the disposition of friendly bear. He's the kind of guy who uses a 40 mile bike tour in a rain as a warm up, braved the white water rapids of up state New York with ease, and has saved friends lives on multiple occasions. We have a literal life saver on our team, while the other guys do bad Macho Man and Hulk Hogan impersonations to pass their time! So who you got, America? Who you got?

Height/Weight
: 6'1"/230 lbs

Place of Birth: Yonkers, NY

Nickname: The Total Package; Easy, Breezy, Beautiful

What do you bring to the team? Pure talent, raw athletic ability, and superior intelligence

Athlete you are most compared to: I'm often told I remind people of a combination of Michael Phelps, Andre the Giant, and Michael Jordan.

If you could compete in one Olympic event (summer or winter), What would it be? Bobsled. Definitely bobsled.

Weakest link on the opposing team? Most people fear the unknown. I've never seen the athletic ability of Provo or Paz, so if I were to actually be worried about anyone on that team, I suppose it would have to be them. That would make D Money the weak link by default. No disrespect meant, here, but we can't all be elite members of TEAM BRK HOUSE.

Event you're most looking forward to? Football. I eat, breathe, shit, and dream football. I don't have red blood cells, I have little footballs carrying oxygen and molecules through my veins. MY DICK IS MADE OF PIGSKIN. I FUCK LOTS OF WOMEN, AND I WILL FUCK YOUR MOTHER. YOU ARE DONE. FUCKING DONE.

Will Team BRK House sweep? First of all, I'd like to apologize for my outburst in my answer to the previous que...I WILL FUCK HER WITH MY FUCKING PIGSKIN DICK. SHE WILL INSTANTLY BECOME IMPREGNATED AND GIVE BIRTH TO LITTLE BABY JOE MONTANA CLONES WHO WILL THEN GO ON TO BECOME A NEW GENERATION OF GENETICALLY ENHANCED ULTRA-QUARTERBACKS IT WILL NOT EVEN BE CLOSE THEY WILL DOMINATE BECAUSE THEY LITERALLY HAVE FOOTBALL IN THEIR DNA AND YOU WILL BE THEIR PATHETIC SNIVELING HALF BROTHER WHO IS NOT EVEN WORTHY OF PICKING UP THE BEAUTIFUL SHIMMERING SWEAT-SOAKED HEADBANDS THEY THROW AT YOU AFTER WINNING EVERY GAME YOU PIECE OF SHIT THATS RIGHT TEAM BRK HOUSE WHAT UP MOTHER FUCKERRRR YEAHHHHHHHHH!

I Love the Dough, and so does the guy in the Honda Civic


I Love The Dough (Featuring Jay-Z & Angel Winbush)(Album Version) - The Notorious B.I.G.

Not complaining at all since I love the song but some guy in a orangey bronze Civic was blasting this while I was walking my dog tonight on repeat while he was circling the block for a parking spot when we started the walk, then when he was parked when I was bringing my dog back upstairs like 8 minutes later, and then when I went back outside to go to the track for a run, tragicly he was gone when I came back 20 minutes later.

Guess what got renewed?



One word, four syllables - De. Lo. Ca. Ted. Jon Glaser's Delocated which is probably the funniest thing in forever on television got picked up for a second season on Adult Swim, so maybe some of you might actually watch it this time around instead of just saying "Oh this is funny" and go back to watching How I Met Your Mother, Star Trek, or whatever it is y'all watch.

Profiles in BRK HOUSE - Kenny



Leading off the TEAM BRK HOUSE profiles is Kenny, a man of various talents and skills who brings so much to the BRK HOUSE table that we needed to get another table. Kenny's resume includes champion amateur wrestler, blossoming volleyball star, world renown daring public urinating, and a man who once beat his younger brother up within an inch of his life for playing bluegrass music. So Warhorses, when you're getting ready for the Ultimate Challenge, ask yourself the following question - if he'd do that to a star of the Mount St. Michael Varsity Wrestling and Cross Country Team, what would he do to a dude who goes by the nickname Shaddy Paz?

Name: Kenny

Height/Weight: 5'9, 205 lbs

Place of Birth: Y.O.

Nickname: K-Dawg

What do you bring to the team? A desire to crush the other teams hopes and dreams.

Athlete you are most compared to: A young Todd Hundley

If you could compete in one Olympic event, what would it be? Greco Roman Wrestling

Weakest link on the opposing team? Dennis because he is delusional. I don't know about the rest of the team so I can't really say them, but I will beat Dennis in every event. I hope this statement rallies him because I love nothing more than creating bulletin board material for the other team when they can't do anything about it.

Event you're most looking forward to? Football events because it will not even be close.

Will Team BRK House sweep? Most likely. Like I said though, I don't know Dennis' mystery people at all. They are thin so even with Dennis anchoring down the relay race they might be able to to cover ground. Wiffle ball homerun derby is also a really luck driven event. If we did a real home run derby I would win it hands down, but what are you gonna do?

Ben & Jerry's Vermonster



Saw the Vermonster last night while watching Extreme Pigouts and it contains twenty scoops of ice cream, 4 ladles hot fudge, Whipped cream, 3 cookies, and the choice of 4 toppings, so that's a whole lot of ice cream and ice cream related toppings. And you know whats guys I want to go to the Ben and Jerry's factory in Vermont so I can take on the challenge of the Vermonster, who's with me?

In Response to the "Phantom Warhorses"

If you read my friend, Dennis' blog, you might know about a little team competition dubbed the Ultimate Challenge that will be occurring next weekend between his team, "The Phantom Warhorses" consisting of himself, Andrew, and some dude named Chris taking on the team of myself, Brian, and Kenny collectively known as TEAM BRK HOUSE, and we will the Bricklayers to Dennis and company's Violators. While we don't have any fancy videos with nicknames or photos of guys in Keith Hernandez jerseys looking like a chipmunk or a guy in the mountains, or buzz words like excellence/destiny/diarrhea, nor do we have history in the latte business, we do have a lot! Like two of the three BRK Housers are members of TEAM BEST MAN and the third is the Groom to the best man, a history of team work on a one win flag football team, and a band that had vocals that were compared to a cat in dryer, a keyboard player that when he played looked like a dinosaur, and a guitarist whose guitar never wanted to stay in tune (CAN YOU GUESS WHO IS WHO?) so I think we'll contend just fine.

Anyway, our two teams - the Phantom Warhorses captained by Dennis and TEAM BRK HOUSE tri-captained by B(rian), R(yan), and K(enny) will be a best of seven events competition in the following events which will see the winning team possibly awarded a trophy/cup/bobblehead -

- 3 on 3 Flag Football
- The Kevin Spodnik memorial Pass and Punt Exhibition
- 3 on 3 Half Court Basketball
- The Justin "Mr. Basketball" Regan Hodgepodge of Schoolyard Basketball Challenges
- Wiffleball
- The Nicholas Paty Running Bases Exhibition
- The Best of 7 Dodgeball Series

So stay tuned to OAB this week for some in-depth interviews/"athletic" profiles with the members of TEAM BRK House and maybe even the Phantom Warhorses, maybe we can get onto the ESPN by the end of the week due all my hype for the event.

What would have the world been like if it was Evander Holyfield's Punch Outi



I'd say "It's on like Donkey Kong" but we're talking about Punch Out over here. But anyway, I'm so picking this up and I'm coming for you, Don Flamenco.

Locke v. Jacob, Who you got?


(via Tasty "Shops")

Okay, the debate of Lost finale versus Animal Collective has been raging on, but this might have swayed it a little. What can you do for me, Panda Bear to change my mind?

Favy 8s - May edition

Okay, possible new idea for a monthly feature of my 8 favorite things - FAVY Eights, kind of like Crazy 8s but not all, y'all.


1)Ron Artest: Between the Rockets logo shaved into his head making him Anthony Mason 2K9, the claim that Brandon Roy was the best player he's ever gone up against, cracking jokes on the whole Brawl at the Palace with Yao, being chippy with Kobe, and the table leg story where a dude died on the court in Queens, Ron Artest - the story of the second round of the NBA Playoffs.


2)Kanye's LV's and Autotunes Mixtape
: Whether you liked 808's and Heartbreaks is irrelevant here, Kanye has guested on a bunch of stuff this year and steals the show on everything. I don't care if it's Poke Her Face, Maybach Music 2, Knock You Down, or Kinda Like a Big Deal if Mr. West is on it, it's a Jam.

3) Lost: Scary fact after Wednesday's episode, there are only 16 episodes left for the entire series. Don't know how I feel about that but I am contemplating watching all of season 4 this weekend to get pumped for the finale but that's kind of ambitious TV watching that I don't know if I'm capable of.

4) Tiptoes - McConaghey, Beckinsale, and dozens of little people including Peter Dinklage (of the Baxter, Wainy Days, 30 Rock fame) and the female little person that Mickey was into on Seinfeld in the episode about his lifts, Tiptoes is so added to my netflix queue.
(via Paul Scheer)


5) Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am in White House Drive Way: This is why I love the Onion with lines like this - "Oops, looks like I got a little brewha in the flavor-saver," added Biden, referring to his wispy, four-day-old mustache. "Any of you girls care to join me for another tallboy?"(The Onion)

6) David Bowie's Modern Love: Off of Lets Dance, Modern Love opens up Lando's Intergalactic Spring Mix (aka my spring mix in the soon to be judged mixtape off between myself and Brian, more details to follow) and I can't get enough of the song.


7)The MLB Coop Collection from New Era: I'm usually all against wearing non Yankee hats since the whole idea of wearing a baseball hat is to support your team and all that, but I love all these throw back hats that New Era and Lids put out, I picked up the Brewers hat from above and I'm kind of debating about the Orioles and Expos hats.


8) AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com: So Suzy posted this site in her gmail status, and I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm not in love with the above couple of twins. So many questions - are they quads? Double dating? 4 friends who happen to be twins?

Adorable Children sing along to Pavement's Stereo



So this is really old but new to me but these little ones are singing Pavement's Stereo off of Brighten the Corners, and it's really making me smile. So add the following to my checklist of things to do with children one day - make them listen to/sing along to Pavement in the backseat before they go to karate, little league, pee wee football or whatever I'm going to force them to do when they'd much rather be playing checkers or XBOX 720.

Greatest Moment in the history of New Yankee Stadium (so far)


(via Deadspin)

CANNOT STOP WATCHING THIS. I know Chamberlin struck out 12 last night, I know the Yankees have been some what disappointing through May, and I know that I really don't start caring about baseball till the trade deadline but whatever some dude broke out a flying dropkick in a brawl in the crowd the other night and it's so awesome!

An invention that I wish was around in 1989



On Saturday, I was out with Brian and we were in Danny's Cycles waiting for his bike to be ready for his big 5 Bouroughs Bike Tour that he's been going on about for the last month or so; which he completed yesterday in record tiem for him, so good work easy breezy! Anyway, there were these two little girls who were having the wreckless time of their lives with these snap on to your sneakers in-line skates. I'm not gonna lie here even they almost crashed into a dozen different things in the Bike Shop including a couple of old men, and one of the girl's father who was wearing an Under Armor cutoff shirt seemed to be a little ticked off, I was kind of jealous that those snap on roller blades don't come in a adult size 13. Now I know they make real roller blades for adults but I'm not about that, I (and those girls) are all about snap on roller blades because I doubt these girls would be having the time of their lives in real roller blades for little kids, they'd be like "We're on Roller Blades, YAY!" instead of "Check it out, I can turn my sneakers into roller blades, WHEEE."

Yes, it's really Bill Murray

Check it, my suspicions from last night are confirmed - It was Bill Murray with bleached blonde spikey hair and a red visor at courtside during Game 7 of the greatest first round series in NBA Playoff History, the Boston Celtics and Murray's Chicago Bulls. Bill Murray, I know I'm 26 but will you adopt me?

All time favorite music videos: The Get Up Kids - Action and Action



New feature on the blog - a random list of my all time favorite music videos as music videos used to be something, and you'd watch it on MTV and be like "OH OH OH, I LIKE" and you'd run to the store to get the record or run to napster to get the mp3s which would take a couple of hours because of 56 k then burn it to a cd which would take ever longer because you had an external CD burner, and then you'd listen to it on your discman, and be all happy, ah the good old days. Anyways you know I love Puffy's Victory video, Guns and Roses' November Rain (and Shine), and the Smiths' Girlfriend in a Coma, so welcome to the feature that will uh feature some of my other favorite videos.

The Get Up Kids put out two really great cornerstone emo (well, you have your emotional hardcore with Fugazi, Rites of Spring, whatnot, then you have the wave of poppier wave with TGUK, Jimmy Eat World, The Promise Ring, all that) records back in the late '90s with 4 Minute Mile and Something to Write Home About that High School/College Ryan ate up like a bowl of Reese's Puffs. So above is the video for Action and Action off Something to Write Home About, LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. So watch it, and enjoy my dumb screen caps jokes below. Seeing T


Instead you have Matt Pyror and the rest of them singing into a phone to some blonde girl.


and The Get Up Kids aren't her fucking boyfriend, btw.


While their brunette "nerdy" neighbor with glasses but is totally cute who isn't a bitch like blondie and wouldn't cheat on you; is using some computer program on her Mac to study, and is totally fed up with all this noise coming from recording a song in an apartment to an answering machine instead of in a recording studio.


So she files a complaint with Reggie, and he's all like "whatever lady, I have to play the moog. Maybe try going to the library" in his space helmet.


And Blondie's friends are playing Simon while she's all like "this is kind of a jam! I hope it's about me."


Yeah, I said Simon. The memory game with flashing lights that I'm pretty okay at.


Also Jim Suptic eats some pizza during the slow part of the song without any parts for him on the guitar which is a totally efficient way to spend some time.


So the "nerdy" girl really needs to get her study on or she'll fail out of college tries to climb through the window but Ryan Pope isn't having it, not having it at all my friends.


But the girl has to study, and figures without any power to the building - you really can't play any guitars, bass, keyboard, or sing on the phone. They can still play the drums but she's kind of alright with that.


So her grand scheme works - the power is out, the guys stop playing, and she can study and pass her level 300 stats class or whatever it's she's studying for.

So yeah, seeing the Get Up Kids in their first show in New York since breaking up forever ago tonight, gonna be all kinds of nostalgic awesome.