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Happy Halloween from OAB

(via BWE)

An ewok humping Al "Han Solo" Roker on yesterday's Today show around the 4:12 mark of this video. Happy Halloween, friends!

Saturday Sharing (10/31/09)

(via Deadspin)

Palm Pre, already dead?:Sorry Brian, but looks like the combined powers of the Google and the Apple might just make your phone irrelevant. (via Gizmodo)

So I waited such and such amount of time for some guy to write his name in some book
: Went with friend of the blog, DennisMoneyMania to the Bill Simmons book signing at Professor Thom's on 14th and 2nd on Thursday night, and while I wasn't wowed with the wait of two hours and forty five minute wait to meet the Sports Guy, I was wowed with seeing his good friend, John "Jack-O" O'Connell at his side and look about a 110 out of 10 scale of the "Johnny, Are You Worried Yet" as Cliff Lee pitched a gem against the Yanks in Game 1. (via Deadspin)

10 Ways to Eat Outdated Technology: I really like outdated technology and I kind of like cake depending on the cake, so I'm enjoying these obsolete deserts. (via Obsolete)

I am appalled at you, Mr. David (Not Really): So LD's splashback onto JC from last week's Curb is kind of causing a ruckus with the Catholic League, but not this kind of ruckus.(via Animal NY)

Subtle Sexuality: Sexy but Subtle, Diva but licious, Office Web short or whatever you call it featuring Kelly and Erin (Mindy Kaling and Ellie Kemper) of the Office with guest appearances by Andy "Nard Dog" Bernard (Ed Helms) and "Male Prima Donna" Ryan Howard (B.J. Novak). (via NBC)

KSK's 2009 KSK NFL Halloween Kostumekkake - K, today's Halloween and Kissing Suzy Kolber has all you NFL favs' Halloween Costumes: Big Ben - The Good Humor Man? Calvin "Megatron" Johnson - Slutty Megartron? Pierre Garcon — Waiter? Brady Quinn — Harvey Milk? Yes, yes, yes, and yes! (via KSK)

Ghost Cupcakes at Flour and Sun

(via Flour and Sun)

The Total Package v. The David Bowies

Playing TTP, Brian in a mega important fantasy football game this weekend. I'm coming off a beat down by Kenny in which he told me to suck it but I's still 5-2 and Bri's 2-5 so I'm trying to get back while he's looking for a reason to believe.

Unlikely Friends: Big Bird, C3PO, and R2D2

(via Pop Candy)

Welcome back this phrase - Clear Eyes! Full Hearts! Can't Lose!

Wallace from season one of The Wire


Coach Eric Taylor


Season 4 of FNL off to a good start. AND if you're not into the whole DirecTV or Torrent business, check out this awesome review of the premiere over New York Magazine.

Kind of Sort of Jam: Lil' Wayne - I Got A Feeling

No this isn't a Tylenol PM induced dream like the Wayne's World Group Costume, it's really Lil' Wayne over The Blacked Eyed Peas' I Got A Feeling. Download Weezy's new mixtape, No Ceilings at Nah Right.

Partytime! Excellent!

(via It's An Indie Halloween on eMusic)

Justin Vernon of Bon Iver as Garth, excellent!

In a related note, last night I woke up in the middle of the night with a great group Halloween costume idea - the cast of Wayne's World. Ideas included Wayne & Garth (obviously), Tia Carrera's Cassandra, Rob Lowe's villainous Benjamin Kane, Lee Teregeson's Terry or another one of Wayne's buddies, Ed O'Neil as Mikita's Glen, or most importantly Frankie "Mr. Big" Sharp. Or you can dress up as Wayne and Garth as Laverne and Shirley, that would be kind of funny too.

Girls - Lust For Life (NSFW Boobs, Cock, and Drugs Version)

(Via P4K)

The totally not safe for work version of Girls' Lust for Life off of their super great debut, Album. By the by, if there's too much naked-ness in the above version, check the original below..

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume for Your Panzy Ass Kid

How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume for Your Effacement Son

Halloween week means Halloween related posts at OAB, first up this Onion gem.

*Edit - The Onion video player was messing up the blog, so here's the link to the video and a screen cap of a little Dracula getting too dirty for his own liking.

The Ultimate Warrior on Arsenio Hall

(via Aziz Ansari)

Arsenio Hall: "I've always wanted to ask you why you wear the Warpaint, Ultimate? Should I call you Ultimate or Warrior?"
Ultimate Warrior: "Those who made small sacrifices call me UW! But those who've made no sacrifices must call be the Ultimate Warrior."
Arsenio Hall: "And where does this come from?"
Ultimate Warrior
: "This facepaint is for communication with the Warriors! As I lock eyes with a warrior that has his face painted and the outer edges of his face paint interlocks with each other, then I know that warrior is ready to make that sacrifice so that I shall live."

UW on The Arsenio Hall show circa March 1990 and was as bat shit crazy as ever as he readies himself for the Ultimate Challenge against Hulk Hogan at Wrestemania 6.

Michael Ian Black on being a Yankee Fan

(via New York Daily News)

The Yankees are in the World Series for the first time in six years. I have mentioned before how difficult it should be for me to root for the Yankees since it’s sort of like being in high school and cheering for the most popular kids to become more popular. And yet, I cannot help myself....

In every other aspect of my life, I will continue to identify with the misfits and losers. As people they are more interesting and fun to hang out with. I mean, I love Derek Jeter, but I wouldn’t choose him as my Scattergories partner, the stiff. But I have one small place in my life where I am the guy with the brightest teeth. That place is my love for the Yankees. May they destroy those scrappy, fucking underdog Phillies.

Totally identify with Michael Ian Black's thoughts on the Yankee fandom, I mean I'm thrilled that they took the ALCS and their 40th American League Pennant but it's kind like rooting for rain in Seattle at times but it's all I know as a baseball fan. LETS GO YANKS! HOW YOU DOIN! :eye roll:

Vintage Cola Ads

(Images via DecoDog)

Somewhat fascinating to see the difference in advertising between Coke and Pepsi from "back in the day."

Saturday Sharing (10/24/09)

Question for Kenny, am I one of your ultimate bros?:
Readers know I'm part of TEAM BEST MAN with Brian at Kenny's wedding and Carles at Hipster Runoff kind of sort of clued me in to some of my responsibilities with this look at Groomsmen, the ultimate bros. Can't wait for all those "wacky" poses that Kenny and Riha's photographer probably has in store for me. (via Hipster Runoff)

Who you gonna call? Matt Mulholland: Matt Mulholland leads an unaccompanied chorus composed of 14 Matt Mulholland clones in his own rendition of the theme from Ghostbusters. (via The Daily What)

A Letter to Mad Men fans from a Lostie: Don't really agree with the letter from fan of one of the best dramas on television to the other best drama on television but I wanted an excused to post the picture up top of Don Draper looking all Don Draper-y hanging on "the island." (via Vanity Fair)

Buying beer in the bathroom? Yes, Please!: Reasons to go to DC's FedEx Field other than to see the Giants trash the 'Skins in week 15 - YOU CAN BUY BEER IN THE BATHROOM! (via Deadspin)

(If you're wondering if I like this video) I like this video: Oh Weezer (mostly Rivers Cuomo)! Our relationship is complex - you made one of my five favorite records of all time but if the Weezer records in the 90s were pre Parkinson's Michael J Fox , you can say that 2000's Weezer is definitely post Parkinson's MJF. But the video for Raditude's single, (If you're wondering if I want you to) I Want You To is like the majority of Weezer videos, FUN. (via P4K)

The Batemans v. The David Bowies (Times 2)

By chance, I am playing Kenny in two different fantasy leagues this weekend and to honor the occasion, I figured colliding mega powers with our faces on it would make for a heck of a poster. Check back here on Monday to see how badly the Bowies kicked the Batemans' ass..

Hot Blog Alert - Rad-Dudes.com

(via Rad-Dudes.com)

Spent a good amount of time this morning going through this blog today, and I hate to be a little cliche here but it's really rad.

On missions to Mars, there's a 52.4 % Failure Rate

(via Gizmodo)

Things you can't do with mp3s - Make a wall out of them

(via Obsolete & URDB)

A couple Brazilian dudes(Danone, Rico, Foley, Soul Glow, Mr. Fe and Rooney to be exact) have the largest collection of Boomboxes in the world with 180 of them as you can see in this posecentric video. So I guess we finally have a literal version of Phil Spector's Wall of Sound which something we can't actually do bunch of mp3 files.

JAMS: Paul Simon - Me and Julio Down By The School Yard

(via Sesame Street)

Paul Simon was on Sesame Street, I love it. I also want to go back in time and adopt the little black girl in the video and make her my sidekick but that's neither here nor there.

Maeby Funke - "Marry Me?" (spelled out with coins in Super Mario World)

(via The Daily What)

Proposing to your girlfriend via Super Mario World is inherently nerdy but even more so inherently sweet, heart warming, and smile inducing on this Monday morning. Congrats to the happy couple and their beagle!

Milk Steak is a Steak boiled in Milk and Honey

(via It's Always Sunny tumblr/acrossoceans)

Charlie: Milk steak.
Dennis: I’m not putting milk steak!
Mac: Just put steak.
Charlie: Don’t put steak, put milk steak, she’ll know what it is.
Dennis: No, she won’t know what it is, Charlie. Nobody knows what that is. Okay, alright, what’s your favorite hobby?
Charlie: Uh, magnets.
Dennis: Magnets- okay, making magnets, collecting magnets-
Mac: Playing with magnets-
Charlie: Just magnets.
Dennis: I’m gonna put snowboarding.
Charlie: I don’t really snowboard.
Dennis: Alright, what are some of your likes?
Charlie: Uh, ghouls.
Mac: Son of a bitch. What are you talking about now?
Charlie: You know, funny little green ghouls.
Dennis: Wh-what? Like in movies, in cartoons?
Charlie: Little green ghouls, buddy!
Mac: Don’t write ghouls.
Dennis: I’m not! I’m putting travel, Jesus Christ. What are your dislikes?
Charlie: People’s knees.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia 5.05, “The Waitress Is Getting Married”

In response to question - "Hey Ryan, what's your favorite telvision show?" I've always answered Arrested Development without really thinking but It's Always Sunny has been making a very very strong case for 1B to Arrested's 1A week after week.

Saturday Sharing (10/17/09)

It's over - you stabbed my fish and your car really does smell like bacon: Donald Earl Fite III gets 2 years probation in additon to fines and community service for impaling his ex's fish after a post breakup fight. In a fun twist, Fite's ex also requested that he should have gotten a tattoo of the deceased as a memorial but the judge denied it. (Via Animal New York)

4 months and counting: This has been floating around for a while BUT the poster for the sixth and final season of Lost is getting me all kinds of excited. Plus the hieroglypics on the poster have been decoded over at Dark UFO and leadership questions arise! SO PUMPED! The leader is Jack btw. (via Collider)

Does Chris Bosh have the rights to OrangeAppleBanana.com?: In my favorite story of the week, Toronto Raptor and key player of Summer of '10, Chris Bosh won the rights to over 800 domain names over one of those cyber squatters this week. From what I understand, everyone of those websites that Bosh acquired directs to this.
(via Toronto Star)

Buy me this and I'll be you bad guy manager: My new goal in life is to become a bad guy wrestling manager and wear this jacket to the ring with a picture of my face super imposed on the Macho Man's face. Eventually I'd have a stable of "heels" called Deighan's Diamonds and we'd eventually turn into cartoons and fight Hulk Hogan and his friends on a Rock and Wrestling Cartoon. I'd also like to incorporate talking on my cell phone during my wrestler's matches, yelling about not being able to get a signal, and then hitting my charge's opponent with my cell phone plus calling audience member's fat boy all the time. (via Ebay)

Kenny's my main man of the year: If you read OAB, you probably read my friend Kenny's blog, right? Right - On Kenny's blog this week wash is Man of the Year post on Drew Brees is my favorite thing that he's ever written and made me laugh as much as the texts we exchanged on Brees when he appeared on Football Night in America's half time show in that vest a couple weeks ago. So if you haven't read it yet, read it! (via Drunken Philosopher)

Best. Time. Of. The . Year.

You know me, I love the Halloween season like no other time of the year So friends, I'd advise that you mark your calendar as It's the Great Pumpkin airs on ABC on October 27h and 28th if you're into that type of Halloween special.

<3 Falcon Heene

(via the Daily What)

Falcon "The Ballon Boy" Heene and the fam made an appearance on the Today Show this morning and the little guy just happens to barf half way through the interview. Ballon Boy is to Fall 09 as Obama/McCain is to Fall 08, right guys?

JAMS: The Beatles - Hello Goodbye

Go to my last.fm page (link on the side of the page to the right of polaroid of the handsome fellow in the flannel) and look at the charts and see how much I've been listening to the Beatles. Seriously, it's kind of gotten out of control - it's the Beatles up here, a couple other bands in the middle, and then everything else. But anyway, how great is the video for Hello Goodbye off Magical Mystery Tour? If you're not smiling by the end of it then at least pretend to.

Not sure what I want more...

(via Museum of Idiots and a bunch of other tumblrs)

The bag or the fake birds upon said bag? Or both.

I will make this Mac and Cheese/BBQ Pork Grilled Cheese Sandwich mine, oh yes... It will be mine.

(via This is Why You're Fat)

Changing my plans for the rest of the week - I'm getting on a jet, flying to LA, finding this "Grilled Cheese Truck" and buying every Cheesy Mac n Rib Melt (BBQ pork, macaroni and cheese in a grilled cheese) they can make and eating them for forever (or until my heart explodes).

Schmitt, Bloody Schmitt

(via Uniwatch)

And how do did Owen Schmitt of the Seahawks get this crimson mask of a face? Handing out some "knocked up" kinda hit? Getting "knocked up?" Nope, he decided to get a little too amped up for the Seahawks' 41-0 drubbing of the Jacksonville Jags by smashing his face with his helmet during the pre-game festivities.

Saturday Sharing (10/10/09)

On the voyage of Jazz, I want Duke Silver to be my tour guide: A lot of people I know weren't feeling Parks and Rec last season but it's really to start to find it's way in the 4 episodes that have aired this season. Between Louie CK, Amy Poehler's Leslie Knoppe being less Michael Scott, Aziz Ansari and Aubrey Plaza being their awesome selfs, and Ron Swanson's secret double life as the Duke, Parks and Rec might be the best show you're not watching on Thursday night. (via Aziz is bored)

N*ggers want to front, who got your back (MILEY): You know I love mash ups, you know I LOVE Biggie, and you ma I'm have no real opinion on Miley Cyrus, I digging this mash up of BIG's Party and Bullshit and Miley's Party in the USA entitled Party & Bullshit in the USA.
(via Afrojacks)

Obi Wan - You will carve this pumpkin in the shape of R2D2 (Waves hands), Storm Tropper - I will carve this pumpkin in the shape of R2D2
: Tis the season to be carving, in fact I'm going to an orchid/pumpkin patch today with people but don't expect me to have anywhere close the carving skills seen in these Star Wars inspired Pumpkins. (via Walyou)

Lego inspired headphones - Usefull - no, Awesome - YES!: Possible lawsuit or not, I kind of want thse. (via Gizmodo)

Kenny Fucking Powers, being carved into pumpkins on the reg: More pumpkin carvings, and this time it's Eastbound and Down's Kenny Powers and the bulletproof tiger of carved pumpkins. (via Twit Pic via Kenny Powers' Twitter)

Please Friends, Don't let this happen to me...

(via Romain Laurent)

Dearest Friends,

As some of you know sneakers and records are two of my favorite things in the entire world, and you could say that I dabble in the collection of both. BUT if I ever get to the levels as the above photos please have an intervention or something along the lines of an intervention with wine in soda cans with me.


Mark Davids' Box of Tapes is probably the greatest thing ever on the internet

(via Videogum)

Real life real funny dude, Jon Benjamin is the fictional Mark Davids, host of Tech Talk on Channel 34 who happened to commit suicide at the age of 37 but thankfully his belongings were donated to Good Will and highlights from a VHS tape of Tech Talk were unearthed! Now I know you're gonna be like 17 minutes, I'm not watching this but WATCH THIS. Honestly, it's the best thing in the history of the Internet - DOS, Holocaust denial, Robots, Virtual Reality, Jon Benjamin with a mustache, Jon without a mustache, soap dishes, it's incredible.

Antonio Pierce on Protecting the QB

Pierce: “I think it’s getting the point where they’re making guys way too cautious out there in the National Football League. For one, we’ve got too much to think about with the plays and trying to see what the offense is running and vice versa. Now you’re saying, ‘Ok, you gotta hit the guy in between a 12 inch or a 24 inch radius in his sternum to his waistband.’ You know, sometimes, I don’t think anybody purposely goes out there and just says ‘I want to injure this guy and end his career.’ But at the same time, you got a job to do. As a linebacker your job is to get the running back down, receiver, quarterback, your job is to get them down. And you can’t go the perfect way about doing it. You know, you go through training camp trying to go through the perfect tackle, the perfect position for a blocker. In a game, you wanna get the guy down. And now you’re saying, ‘Ok, if I’m falling toward this guy’s knee, I gotta turn my whole body out and try to avoid this quarterback.’ You can hurt yourself as a defensive player trying to do things like that. I think the thing with Terrell Suggs, there’s no way that I think he had any intention of trying to hit Tom Brady in his knee. You can obviously see a lineman’s pushing him, his head’s down, his momentum is going towards it. Tom Brady doesn’t move. You got the quarterbacks now looking at the referee it’s like, ‘Hey you gotta call this.’ And the referee’s got no choice because that’s the franchise. Everyone puts it in their head that it’s the quarterback, it’s the quarterback. I know that there’s 86,000 people that come to Giants stadium that love watching Eli Manning but I’m pretty sure they like watching Osi Umeniyora and Justin Tuck and Antonio Pierce. So, just don’t protect the quarterback, try to protect all players and treat it fair.”

(via Tom Rock's Newsday Giants Blog)

Agree agree agree with AP here on the absurdity of the NFL and it's rules to protect it's quarterbacks.

Matieralism! Yay!

Joy Division - Peel Sessions
Radiohead - Kid A
New Order - Temptation/Hurt

Today's AL Central Playoff

The last time the Twins played in a one off playoff at the Metrodome, it was in 1994's Little Big League and I expect everything that happened in the film's final game between the Twins and Mariners to happen in the Twins/Tigers showdown tomorrow.

So expect the following:
- Ron Gardenhire to be replaced by 11 year old Grandson of the deceased owner of the Twins, Billy Haywood.
- Haywood will be assisted by the Twins pitching coach, Mac Macnally or the grizzled, Rick Anderson.
- A trick play which depends if the pitcher stepped off the rubber and then threw the ball versus the quick pivot move towards first, the former in which you can keep the ball, make the play legal. Baseball rules state a throw must be made to first base during a pickoff move or the throw is a balk if using the quick move.
- The trick play may or may not be preformed by The Single Guy's Jonathan Silverman.
- Depending on his availability and MLB waiver rules, Randy Johnson may pitch the 9th inning in a similar fashion as several playoff appearances against the New York Yankees (see AL DS 1995, World Series 2001).
- MVP candidate Joe Mauer to fall in love and ask for the hand of marriage of Haywood's mother.
- Haywood responding to Mauer's request with a request of his own, a home run by Mauer.
- And Ken Griffey Junior (or his Tiger equivilant) may or may not catch Joe Mauer's home run attempt.
- Haywood will resign after the game and go back to being a normal 11 year old in similar fashion of Chicago Cubs' closer, Henry Rowengartner and his maybe Little League Coach/Mom's Boyfriend/New Dad/Former Rocket Chet Stedman.

Big Bird, Right Wing Nut Job?

(via BWE)

I use the term "nut job" very loosely but as seen on The Tonight Show is Big Bird giving a voice to a lot of "theories" on President Obama and kind of "sticking it" to Michelle.

Saturday Sharing (10/03/09)

Holely Cow: Love this Punch Camera by designer Matty Martin, which was actually punches images on blank paper. Good news - it's awesome, bad news - it'll probably never be released. (via Gizmodo)

Evil Knievel Children Chooper: Future Dad Ryan wants this for future child of Ryan, boy or girl - it doesn't matter.
(via Like Cool)

Mike Francseca, the Sports Pope v. Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy - WHO YOU GOT? And away with we go with Simmons' twitter and Francesca's umm... twatter? (via Fantasy 555)

Young Adolf?
: Yeah, I can add absolutely nothing to this but Young Hitler, sounds like a bad child series in the vein of Young Hercules with Gosling. (via Like Cool)

Pitchfork's Top 200 Albums of the Decade: Kid A @ No. 1? I probably maybe sort of agree with that Pitchfork Media. Wait till November for my end of decade lists though, maybe it won't be Kid A, maybe it'll be... (via P4K)

Sorry Chi-City but no Olympics

But the reactions are kind of priceless...

You know what I'm picking up...

Good Vibrations! (off of Brian Wilson presents SMiLE)